Monday, December 7, 2009

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Monday, November 2, 2009

Lady's Review ~ Submission

Synopsis: CHASEY SURRENDERS! Gorgeous Chasey Lain gets nasty in this story of psychological domination. The movie features Chasey in almost every pulse pounding scene where she wants it so bad, she'll do anything!

Running Time: Around 90 minutes.
Release Year: 2003
Categories: Feature, Couples
Directed By: F.J. Lincoln
Features: Behind The Scenes, Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound, Full Motion Chapter Menus, Photo Gallery, Trailers, Wicked Casino
Starring: Chasey Lain, Kylie Ireland, Sahara Sands, Shelby Stevens, Tiffany Mynx, Vanessa Chase

Okay, I have to say it. THIS MOVIE WAS SO BORING IT WAS PAINFUL!!!

(be warned - I'll be using a lot of "quotes" to refer to various activities, roles and people in the review to follow)

We tried to watch and enjoy - we really did. We didn't skip scenes. We endured every mind-numbing moment while we waited for something interesting to happen. We did. I promise.

I rented this film because it featured Kylie Ireland, a favorite of mine since seeing her in Nina Hartley's "Private Sessions" series. But, alas, Kylie was only in the first scene - which turned out to be a completely vanilla encounter between two women. Okay if you're into lesbian stuff, but for me still pretty boring. But, the movie hadn't really gotten going yet, so I held on hoping for more.

The film progresses, following a pretty Chasey Lane as she endures various "tests" to become the slave / lover of a man named Vick, who turns out to be a really unattractive hairy biker-type guy who seems to be very into making his "slave" watch him have long, boring sessions of oral sex (him receiving only) followed by anal sex with another woman - or into lending his "slave" out to another couple where she lays on a table like some sort of glorified hood ornament watching that other couple have sex. There was no bondage, discipline, training or kink of any kind involved. I guess if you're into voyeurism, you might like these scenes, but it was really tame for our taste.

We next follow Ms. Lane into her bathroom where she is preparing to meet her "master" again. While she's in the midst of putting a bit of lotion on her legs - an activity that seems to take a lot of concentration - she is ambushed by two other "slaves" claiming to belong to her "master." Despite this being a three-way lesbian type scene, it was actually a bit of a turn-off. Again, no bondage, discipline, or kink of any kind involved in this "submission" scene. And, as an extra added bonus, the other two women turn up looking very "skanky trailor trash" in ragged jeans cut-offs, oversized flanel shirts and just generally not looking as any self-respecting "master" would want his "slaves" to look. (Most of us D types prefer our property looking bathed and presentable .... but that's just Me.)

The film finishes up with Chasey back in the care of her "master," who indulges in yet another overly long session of oral sex (him receiving only, you wouldn't want the wannabe "master" to actually DO anything to / with / for his "slave"), followed by anal sex, and some very minimal spanking and fondling of his "slave." Again - no kink or even light bondage to be found here. Just plain old vanilla sex hidden under the banner of "submission."

I liked Chasey Lane, but don't see how this could be some of her best work, as written by other reviewers, when she spent a good portion of the movie just watching other people. Overall, this movie was very, very vanilla for a film entitled "Submission" and a complete snooze-fest for Rayne and I. I'll be passing on the sequel and any other Chasey Lane work, which all seems to be pretty vanilla boring as well.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Lady W Featured in Pleasurists #36

heels

by Massimo Innocenti

Pleasurists is a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days from bloggers all around the sex blogosphere. Did you miss Pleasurists #35? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #37? Submit it here before Sunday July 12th at 11:59pm PDT. Please re-post this list on your own blog if listed.

Want to win some free swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Madame Editrix

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Editor’s Pick


Vibrators

Dildos

Anal Toys

Toys for Cocks

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books/Games

Adult Movies/Porn

Lingerie

Storage

Sex Furniture

Miscellaneous

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Lady's Review ~ Nina Hartley Private Sessions #11

Synopsis: Bring a slave to this session. Nina invites you back to her private dungeon for some tough love. Her subjects are hung from the ceiling while they feel their pussies vibrate from one of Nina's tools. If you're lucky, you'll get spanked. The naughtiest girls don't even get to come out of their cage. Don't forget to thank your Mistress when for making you cum at the end of the day.

Running Time: Just over 1 hour
Release Year: 2004
Categories: Bondage, Domination, Girl/Girl
Directed By: Ernest Greene
Features: Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound, Full Motion Chapter Menus, Photo Gallery, Trailers
Starring: Audrey Hollander, Claire Adams, Ernest Greene, Justine, Kylie Ireland, Mika Tan, Natasha Sweet, Nina Hartley, Otto Bauer

This is the first adult film I've viewed in a long time. I gave it a shot with rayne last summer and found the experience to be disappointing at best. I did learn a couple things, though. In casting, when it says "and others," that means "nameless men." One light bondage scene in an otherwise completely vanilla movie can get it listed in the "Bizarre," "Bondage," and/or "Domination" categories depending on which site you use. And, I've also learned that user ratings and reviews are a more or less useless way to judge whether a movie was good or not because the majority of them are written by horny men who say things like "The women in this were SO HOT!!"

So, it was with some skepticism that I renewed our DVD rental account at the House of Wolfdreams video store and rented Private Sessions #11 as our first film.

I was both surprised and impressed with this film. Despite only having a 2-Star rating on the web site, I thought this was a good film. It isn't hard core by any stretch, with any actual penetrative sex being disguised, but it was erotic and creative.

I find that most BDSM-themed videos (when they aren't one-scene rip off's as mentioned above) tend to focus on a rather vanilla pattern of spanking, a couple nipple clamps, maybe a little very light torture like pinching or tickling, followed by more spanking - over, and over and over again. This was not the case with Private Sessions #11. Thank you Bizarre Studios!!

The first scene opens with Ernest Greene and Nina Hartley as co-Dominants with bound Claire Adams as their submissive. The scene was made really interesting through light caning, use of a Magic Massager, and an inverted orgasm scene.

Next up we had submissive Audrey Hollander along with Dominant Otto Bauer. Audrey began the scene bound in white leather in a standing spread-eagle position while Otto controlled her through slaps, hair pulling, and lots of verbal commands. rayne and I both enjoyed how the Dominant in the scene seemed to really be in control of the action, not just using toys but actually giving verbal instructions or physically placing the submissive into the position he wanted.

The third scene featured Dominant Mika Tan with submissive Justine and begins with Justine bound with a red leather arm binder and hobbled with ballet boots while she balanced a book on her head for the pleasure of her Mistress. The scene features some nice flogging technique and boot worship.

The film wrapped up with Kylie Ireland (who I am now so in love with!) as the submissive with a very attractive Natasha Sweet playing the Dominant role. I enjoyed this scene the best of the five as this scene seemed the most "real" to me. There was genuine warmth and affection conveyed between the two women, as I feel there would be in a real relationship. The scene featured some nice flogging, spanking, and nipple torture as well as nice use of a vacuum pump and wonderful strap-on scene to wrap things up.

As a side note, I really enjoyed the costuming in this film. The men were in basic jeans-and-Tee's, but the women were all in beautiful leather and corsetry. Very, very nice!

The only drawback I found to this film was that the sound quality was horrible! We had to turn the television up as far as it would go in order to hear properly and still missed a lot of the dialogue.

Overall, I think this film deserved much better than it's 2-Star rating and I highly recommend it to anyone interested in the genre.

Friday, June 19, 2009

The Three Great Lies of SM (version 1.2)

Copyright 1998 by Jay Wiseman, Lady Green, Glen the paramedic, and Dale the actress. (With assistance from the Anonymous, Nefarious Band.)

The Three Great Lies of SM (and a few others)...

...that we tell straight people.

1. It's a fashion statement.
2. It's for a crafts project.
3. I fell off my bicycle.

...that we tell each other.

1. I've never even fantasized about doing that.
2. I just do this for fun. I don't need it.
3. Mistress, I'll do anything you want.

...that we tell ourselves.

1. I'm normal.
2. I always stop when I feel genuine anger.
3. I only play with people I respect.
4. I'm doing this for healthy reasons.

... that Dominant men tell submissive women.

1. I think of women as equals.
2. I have a healthy relationship with my mother.
3. I truly believe that it takes a strong woman to submit.
4. It's OK with me if sex isn't part of the play.

... that submissive women tell Dominant men.

1. I don't have any unresolved issues regarding my father.
2. It's enough to serve you, Master. I don't need to get off.
3. I really want you to be in charge.
4. I love it when you come in my mouth.
5. Licking your feet and asshole really turns me on.
6. I think your pot belly is sexy.
7. You own me body and soul.
8. You're the only man who makes me feel this way.
9. I will never leave you.

... that submissive men tell Dominant women.

1. I'll do anything you want.
2. I exist only to serve you.
3. I don't care about getting off.
4. I regard women as superior beings.
5. You're beautiful to me.
6. I really get off on doing housework for you.
7. My wife knows that I do this.

... that Dominant women tell submissive men.

1. I basically like men.
2. Wearing high heels makes me feel more powerful.
3. I can't top anybody who doesn't turn me on.
4. I never switch.
5. I love giving golden showers.

... that we tell vanilla prospective play partners.

1. It's not pain. It's just strong sensation.
2. This is fundamentally a nurturing activity.
3. Submission is empowering.
4. You need to explore this side of yourself.

... that Dominant women tell each other.

1. I have the perfect slave.
2. I feel that you and I are part of a Sisterhood.
3. I can stay in top space while I'm getting fucked.

... that submissive women tell each other.

1. My Master takes good care of me.
2. I'm not really an exhibitionist.
3. I don't feel competitive towards other submissives.
4. It's OK with me if you play with my Master.

... that Dominant, heterosexual men tell each other.

1. My slave never says no to me.
2. Some of my best friends are submissive men.
3. When I watch you play at a party, I don't secretly hope that you'll screw up and everyone will notice.
4. I can still be dominant after I've had an orgasm.

... that submissive, heterosexual men tell each other.

1. The most important thing is to serve the Mistress.
2. I never tell her what to do.
3. I've never gone to a professional Mistress.
4. I love it when my Mistress won't let me come for days.
5. I don't mind that you can take more pain than I can.
6. I really believe that my mission in life is to serve women.
7. I really like going down on my Mistress during her period.

... that bi switches tell each other.

1. I truly don't care which gender I play with.
2. I'm not at all homophobic.
3. I separate sex from SM.
4. Being bi is the best of both worlds.
5. I only play with people I feel intimate with.
6. I only play with other switches.

... that professional Mistresses tell each other.

1. Business is good.
2. I never have sex with a client.
3. Business is bad.
4. I always stick to my specialty and refer out clients who want other things.
5. I'd do this even if I wasn't getting paid.
6. I never need to bottom.
7. I'm always in control of the session.
8. I'm a good businesswoman.
9. My lover doesn't mind that I do this.
10. It was my choice to leave my last straight job.

...that clients tell professional Mistresses.

1. I have great personal hygiene.
2. I'll be there.
3. I'll be there on time.
4. I'm not hoping that our play will become sexual.
5. I promise I won't tell anyone if you do "...." with me.
6. Mistress "....." is willing to do that.

...that vanilla people tell SM people.

1. Hearing about this doesn't shock me.
2. I know other people who are into this.
3. We negotiate everything too.

And, finally, the three great lies of the three great lies.

1. None of this was meant for anyone to take personally.
2. We're sorry if we offended anybody.
3. We'll never do this again.

All angry letters, howls of protest, and other flames will be cheerfully ignored. (Requests to reprint will be answered.)

Enjoy!